Rogues of Clwyd-Rhan



Baron von Fieffelfalsfaffel
Age: Somewhat past his prime, but doesn't know it
Species: Human

The Baron von Fieffelfalsfaffel is a denizen of the Undercity, and has at the behest of Queen Elspeth carried out several dangerous missions. These missions usually take him to remote, underpopulated places with fierce climates very far from the Undercity. The baron takes this as a sign of the queen's immense belief in his abilities. While other courtiers tremble as the queen opens her feared "Directory of Remote, Underpopulated Places with a Fierce Climate Very Far from the Undercity" in search of a suitable assignment, the baron finds such occasions ground for a parade of trusty men and long dinner talks. The learned alchymist Ioannes once held forth that the baron's IQ exactly matched his manhood, which caused the baron to blush and beam for all the wrong reasons.  (The basic measures in the Undercity are comparable to the basic units of our metric and psychological systems. Although they do they use a pentagonal numbering system.)

The learned reader will know that Witch Queen Elspeth's realm has no geographical boundaries. Thus the title "baron" as used in the Undercity is not equivalent of the same title in England,  where it meant a one who had his lands directly from the king or queen. The title is akin to the later Norwegian baron, who replaced the earlier jarls. A jarl ("earl") held great lands in his own right, and his allegiance to the king was a matter decided by honour, negotiations or war. Our Baron is the first to use this newfangled title (he thought he needed something grander). His father, the old Earl Tankbarth IV Fiffelfalsfaffel, although abdicated, still lives (and indeed does all the saying of laws, settling of disputes and chopping of heads - that is, work - back in the old country, while his son and his guard struts around court.

Baron von Fieffelfalsfaffel is stinking rich. He has the squarest jaw in Europe, the greatest libido of the Middle Ages, the campiest dressed guardsmen before the Janissaries, is an eminent fencer, an athlete,  a reknowned braggart, suffers from a selective dyslexia that makes it impossible for him to understand the word "no", has a bad hait of putting his foot where his mouth is, and is the living horror of every woman born with a brain.

If there is one single, foolhardy stunt of derring-do that has marked the baron as a brave man in the eyes of his fellow nobles, it must be this: ever since he came to court, he's been wooing the deadly Countess Alcydia. So far, he has only missing teeth to show for his efforts. Being who he is, he takes such lover's tiffs as strong encouragement.


The baron meets Kel, from
Courtly Manners...

The baron met Tamlin, Atra, Jake and - above all - Ragna when he served as Embassador of the Undercity in Iceland, a remote, underpopulated place with a fierce climate. Under instructions from his Queen and under the misconception that the gang was reknown knights in the service of Duke Henry, the baron took part in the liberation of the kidnapped Guðrún and the demolition of Alcydia's castle Rimur. Tasked with bringing Alcydia back to trial at court, he was of course soon convinced of her innocence.

During the gang's stay at the embassy, the baron (of course) had, or tried to have, a flirtatious affair with Ragna. It is not unthinkable that Ragna's son Harold is actually the baron's instead of Tamlin's as both Tamlin and Ragna seem to believe.

Also present in the embassy was Krakatoa, serving as the Embassador's personal secretary (which means, she ran the place). Her being young and inexperienced (and demonstrating frightening martial skills with the codfish) the baron made his best to pretend she was air.

Lately, the Baron seems to be having more success in his attempts to woo the countess, although this is not stopping him from approaching other women, including Kel.

(Created by Geir Strøm and Daniel Østvold, Kra is on loan, so to speak. Thanks to Geir for the biographical information)

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