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Access granted. Stand still while I shove the entire space-time vortex into your eyes.

You need to have seen the episodes parodied first, but if you have then The Five Minute Doctor Who is pretty damned hilarious.
From their version of the Bad Wolf episode:


Doctor: Well, that was pointless. Jack, what are you doing?
Jack: I just need to kill Lynda for a moment.
Doctor: Sure, might as well go two for two.
Jack: Stand right there, okay? (ZAP!)
Lynda: But -- GAK!

and from The Parting of the Ways:

Jack: All right, cannon fodder! Who's ready to die a gruesome death buying a few extra seconds for the Doctor to fiddle with gadgets upstairs while waffling through his ethical dilemmas?
(crickets chirp)
Programmer: You're new at this hero thing, aren't you?

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